How you talk to a child matters…

I have always felt more like a facilitator, than a teacher.  

I believe that children are capable and competent learners.  

I know that how I interact with children matters. 

Children take in what they hear and what they see and what they experience

(Remember they are trying to make sense of this world and their place in it.)

So, how you talk to a child matters, 

how you talk about a child matter, 

what you believe about who a child is and 

what you believe or fear or hope a child will become matters

All these things influence how a child feels about themselves and how they develop relationships with others. 

All these things influence how we parent or educate the children in our lives.

After 40 years of working with young children and hundreds of families, I know that the wonderful and special and most important thing about each child or family unit is that they are uniquely their own.   Although this characteristic may be similar to another child or family, they are never exactly the same.  I also understand that children develop skills at different rates. 

Unfortunately, I think some parents (educators/ childcare providers) often resort to comparing their child to other children or someone else in their lives (spouse, brother, sister, grandpa, mom, person from an old relationship, etc.).  She does this or that the way my sister always did... or he is just like his father...If the comparison is negative, this can lead to undue stress and overwhelm, and oftentimes turns into unrealistic or unnecessary expectations. It also may cause blame and resentment toward a child.  

The good news is that we can always course correct, take a new path, or reassess our own approach and beliefs and choose to do things differently moving forward. 

Sometimes it is hard to do this type of self-reflection.  

As an educator / facilitator / parent for decades, I'm always asking myself what I can do better, what can I do differently, and what will make this a more successful experience.  

Can I word it differently?

Can I give more time or space?

Can I arrange or organize the space differently?

It is hard work, but it matters!